Always
by A for Anarchy
Summary: Haji and Saya coming together several years after the final episode.
1. Chapter 1

Always

"_I will always love you Saya."_

There were the last words he said to me, and now I'm sleeping, dreaming of him. All these images flash through my mind. Images of him, of us, and our life together. I can't really imagine my life without him, he was such an integral part of me, for over a hundred years he watched over me, protected me from everything out there, when I thought it was me protecting him. He sheltered me, shouldered my burdens, anything that I asked of him, he would do; he even promised that he would kill me. I made the man who loved me promise to kill me. I am the worst of hypocrites; I was condemning him to live forever alone because I couldn't stand the thought of living forever.

But he loved me anyway; I'm so selfish, I couldn't see that while I was awake, and what little time we had together was squandered, and he never complained. Sometimes I wish that he had been selfish, that he had demanded that I see him, as he truly was, demanded that I recognize all that he has sacrificed. But if he had been selfish I don't think that I would have ever loved him as much as I did. He was everything perfect in this world, and as Amshel forced his fist through Hagi's stomach, the only thing that I could think of was that he would never have the chance to live with me in Okinawa. I'm so selfish. I didn't even ask if that's what he wanted. I'm so selfish. How could he love someone as selfish as me?

I wonder if he's still alive. Is he waiting for me? Waiting for me to wake up like always, that's another promise I extracted from him, that he stay alive so that I might be remembered. I would give anything to wake up and see his face before mine; I would give anything to see one of his precious smiles, made so dear because of their infrequency. But I will not wake up, I cannot wake up, and therefore I will not see him. I don't even know if he's alive. I'm the worst sort of person; I don't even consider the feelings of others. I'm a monster. I wonder if he'll be here when I wake up, if I wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: One-sided Conversations

"It's been a long time Saya. Fifteen years have passed since you last fell asleep. I have been in agony, waiting for you to wake up, waiting for you to look at me with your sad eyes. I cannot truly express how I feel, but at least I made my feelings known. I have another request for you Saya, impertinent, I know, but I believe that it must be made. Wake up, Saya. Come back into the world. I miss you, I long to see your face. Every day, no every minute has been a torment that becomes more unbearable with each passing year. I promised that I would remain by your side, and yet I break this promise every time you fall into your long sleep. How can I be by your side? I have had over one hundred years to try and find a way, and I have failed. Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for breaking my promise?

"My whole life I have been a man of few words, but in your unknowing presence I find myself to be strangely verbose, a rare occurrence to be sure. I have so many things to show you Saya, so many wonders of the world that have been waiting for you. And now, now that you have finally won your battle, I can show you the beauties of this world that few have ever seen. I have trekked through the deepest heart of the Amazon jungle, and played tricky games of hide-and-go-seek with the natives of the Congo. I walked across entire continents so that I could experience the change of the seasons slowly. I want to show you the world Saya, and I want to be by your side and see your face light up with joy at the simple pleasure of gazing upon Paris at Christmastide.

"I've been practicing my music Saya. I remember when I was still a boy you would correct my posture, making sure that I held the bow just so, and that when I passed it over the strings I made the wood weep for the beauty of those sounds. I have not needed correction for many years, but I still practice so that I may amaze you with wondrous music that I can now play. I know that it has been only a short while since my last visit, but I would like to know, do you enjoy your flowers Saya? I must admit that I was thinking of your eyes when brought the last one, it was a beautiful crimson color, and when I saw it I knew that you would find it to be as marvelous as I had. I confess that I have not been sleeping well as of late. I have become impatient, waiting for you to wake up, when before I was content to wait for years on end without uttering a complaint. But I am rather anxious to hear your reply to my declaration from the Met. Do you love me Saya? I pray that you do, for I don't believe that I am capable of living in this world if you do not. Do you love me? Can you love me? I cannot bear this! Wake up Saya! Put me out of my misery so that I may go on! Tell me you love me, or my life will not be worth living. I am incapable of offering you a home like Kai, I cannot give you children, the most I can do is offer myself, poor soul that I am and hope that it will be enough. Please Saya, wake up."

A tall, dark figure laid a rose outside of the tomb. He looked longingly at the doorway before sighing and turning away. "Good-bye Saya, I will come back soon."


End file.
